How to Save a Polar Bear!

I have said in the past that I didn't see how a Democratic woman could be elected president. Misogyny runs too deep in some people, and I figured the only way some segments of the population could vote for a woman was if she was a dyed-in-the-wool conservative Republican. President Kay Bailey Hutchison, anyone?

I know this seems a cynical viewpoint in a year when 18 million people voted for Hillary Clinton, but you'll notice she's not the Democratic nominee. And Sarah Palin, I would argue, not only makes my point but actually proves I wasn't cynical enough. Because as unpleasant as a Kay Bailey Hutchison presidency would be, at least she's arguably competent. And she's mature. And probably thinks before she speaks. (Even better case in point: Senator Olympia Snowe.)

By contrast, Sarah Palin is a MILF. Well, sorry folks, but after eight years of having as our president a guy a lot of people figure would be fun to drink a beer with, we now have the chance to elect to the second highest office in the land a woman some people would like to look like, and some others would like to "do."

Does commenting on Governor Palin's appearance really make me a misogynist? Why? It's clearly part of her appeal, and I for one am having trouble seeing the rest of the package. She is smart, to be sure (although I think I could take her in a debate, and I am certain Joe Biden can!), but she's aggressive, politically expedient, inexperienced and there's some evidence that what experience she does have reflects unfavorably on her qualifications. (Putting an airplane up on eBay doesn't set her that far apart from millions of other people who sell on eBay. In fact, I wonder that it was a smart thing to do, if the idea was to save Alaska money -- eBay isn't exactly the first website I'd try if I was looking to buy a used jet. That makes it a publicity ploy more than a real money-maker. Do we know what they got for the plane, by the way? And was it more than the cost of Ms. Palin's family travelling back to Wasilla, where they get a per diem for living in their own home?)

Wasilla -- I've been there, as it happens -- is a small town north of Anchorage. I can well believe the claim that it was debt-free before Ms. Palin became its mayor, and was saddled with $22 million in debt when she left. That's a rookie mistake -- the sort made by politicians who feel they have to do something to prove their worth and don't think out carefully enough what they want to do, how to do it, what the costs & benefits are, etc.

So, no, I'm not impressed with Sarah Palin. But here's a woman I can completely support: Eve Ensler! She wrote the The Vagina Monologues. And she wrote this for the Huffington Post:

Sarah Palin does not believe in evolution. I take this as a metaphor. In her world and the world of Fundamentalists nothing changes or gets better or evolves. She does not believe in global warming. The melting of the arctic, the storms that are destroying our cities, the pollution and rise of cancers, are all part of God's plan. She is fighting to take the polar bears off the endangered species list. The earth, in Palin's view, is here to be taken and plundered. The wolves and the bears are here to be shot and plundered. The oil is here to be taken and plundered. Iraq is here to be taken and plundered. As she said herself of the Iraqi war, "It was a task from God."

(Click on the link above for the whole piece -- I heard it on the radio last night, and it's great!)

Eve, it seems, has a thing for polar bears. And really, who doesn't? They're beautiful, and they're endangered. And we want to fight for them, even when we really don't know what we're supposed to do to help. (Is turning off this light bulb really going to save a polar bear?)

But now, finally, we have a way to fight back against Sarah Palin! Let's claim that electing her will literally kill this:

(Credit: Alaska Image Library/United States Fish and Wildlife Service, via Bloomberg News and the New York Times. Read accompanying story here.)

What a gorgeous animal, wouldn't you agree? Wouldn't it be a shame if thousands of these lovely animals died because YOU voted for McCain/Palin? There's a very simple solution. Don't vote for the pretty girl just because she's a novelty, or fun to listen to, or you admire her moxie. She wants -- literally, from a helicopter -- to kill the polar bears.

What's that? Uh, sure polar bears are not particularly crucial to this campaign. But that train left the station a few weeks ago. We're supposed to be focused on the economy, and foreign relations, and the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. Do you really think after a week of arguing over lipstick on a pig that it matters if I use a polar bear to counteract Sarah Palin's dubious charm as a VP candidate? Puh-leeze. To paraphrase, Nobody ever got elected overestimating the intelligence of the American public.

But its compassion for polar bears is legendary!